What in the @#%*....

the title of my blog is exactly how i am feeling right now.. what in the @#%* is going on.. in the past two weeks i have experienced sheer joy and feeling like worthless trash.. my emotions have been all over the damn place and its crazy... i dont know whats causing it.. or whats going on but this is not good.... I have been trying to find a way to channel all these emotions but I havent yet... enjoying being in my own company seems to help.. for some reason i like doing things on my own schedule... i work better alone most of the time.. although i am a team player i get far more accomplished when i am by myself.. maybe that is a solution to the problem.. i need to spend more time with myself... its so hard with this crazy work schedule.. there is hardly any alone time for me... I signed up to take the NY bar but i think i am going to postpone til February.. my brain is screaming not right now.. please dont do it right now.. LOL.. so i am going to take its advice and defer til Feb... there is so much going on at work that my brain cannot function or apprehend whats going on... i am about to scream..... by the time i think i want to study my brain says.. um no! LOL! i know this is a lot of mumbo jumbo but who cares it is my blog and i say what the hell i want.. now! well im off to bed.. im sleepy and i really need to rest... Good night all.