First Cluttered Blog

Good Evening World.... Well, this is my fist blog and I actually think this shit is going to make me a healthier person.  I named my shit a cluttered mind because I have so many thoughts and shit that run through my mind that it creates a landfill of thoughts in my head.  Sometimes I do not know where the hell these thoughts come from but they are there.

Right now I am in a state of confusion.  At 24, I have completed a bachelor's degree program and a juris doctorate program.  Shit should come so easy but it has not.  I am stuck because its so hard to find a job... I thought once I completed this educational training it would be so easy but it is the complete opposite.  Well, if this was ever a time that test my faith its right now but I know I have to stay strong because the Lord has brought me this far and I know there is something in store in the future.  Its all about PATIENCE!  

I will apologize in advance because I will jump from subject to subject as they run across my mind.  It just seems that life is so much easier for everyone else right now.  They have lives, jobs, and all of the above... I have ummm neither... Even my social life has been plagued with boredom.  Is it me?  Maybe, but I don't remember life being this damn dull.  Anyway, its hard to be happy for others when it seems that nothing is right but all I can do is focus on the future and how things can go right.  I know that through PRAISE you can come through.  Thank God for all the blessings he is blessing others with and what HE WILL bless you with.  This blog is not going as great as I thought it would I had so much to say before I got here but it seems like my brain has gone blank.  It seems like everytime I think positive something slaps me in the face which reminds me why I had the negative attitude in the first place.. Be Patient!   I have to keep telling myself that because DAMN if i don't I might drive myself crazy.

I dream of success everyday.  Its like I can taste it on the tip of my tongue but everytime I try to swallow it I realize I swallowed the wrong dose of reality.  Its like God shows me things but does not show me the path I should take to get where I need to be.  I search and search and search but it seems impossible.  Maybe I am looking in all the wrong places.   I look at the situations I base my situations on and I have to realize that some things seem great but they could be a facade.  No one can truly EXPRESS their happiness but its something you see in their eyes and in their attitude.  

Enough of this blog for right now.  Oh, this is time to FIND ME because I do not know truly who I am yet...  Not saying I am confused but I need to find my way...  Hopefully this blog will be the beginning.