A Cluttered Mind

What in the @#%*....

2010-06-13T21:17:00.000-07:00

the title of my blog is exactly how i am feeling right now.. what in the @#%* is going on.. in the past two weeks i have experienced sheer joy and feeling like worthless trash.. my emotions have been all over the damn place and its crazy... i dont know whats causing it.. or whats going on but this is not good.... I have been trying to find a way to channel all these emotions but I havent yet... enjoying being in my own company seems to help.. for some reason i like doing things on my own schedule... i work better alone most of the time.. although i am a team player i get far more accomplished when i am by myself.. maybe that is a solution to the problem.. i need to spend more time with myself... its so hard with this crazy work schedule.. there is hardly any alone time for me... I signed up to take the NY bar but i think i am going to postpone til February.. my brain is screaming not right now.. please dont do it right now.. LOL.. so i am going to take its advice and defer til Feb... there is so much going on at work that my brain cannot function or apprehend whats going on... i am about to scream..... by the time i think i want to study my brain says.. um no! LOL! i know this is a lot of mumbo jumbo but who cares it is my blog and i say what the hell i want.. now! well im off to bed.. im sleepy and i really need to rest... Good night all.

Completely Incomplete... Incompletely Complete

2010-05-25T22:50:00.000-07:00

Complete.. finished.. ended.. concluded.. having all the customary skills or the like.. consummate.. entire.. total... Incomplete.. not complete.. lacking some part.. Is there ever a point in our lives where we feel complete.. we have achieved everything there is to achieve and no longer have any goals to accomplish... or in life are we always incomplete.. always looking to achieve more.. Right now I am at a crossroads... not knowing my exact purpose.. the direction I should go.. the things I should be doing in moving toward a complete life.. or is what I am searching for not there??? or is my purpose what I design? Has GOD given me those options? Am I thinking too much and not doing? I once read a quote that said "you only stop experiencing growing pains when you stop growing." In that sense are we always to remain incomplete because we are always growing and learning? If I did reach a place of completeness would I know I was complete? It's funny for me its always been hard to gauge just what I am supposed to be doing... I strive to be the best at everything... No matter what I put my mind to I can accomplish.. Funny because I am so good at so much.. So which of those things should I choose to pursue? So I raise the question or we completely incomplete or incompletely complete? They sound synonymous but they are not... oxymoron. I think in all we are supposed to be incompletely complete.. there is a point where we will be content but not complete.. the only thing that should complete us is the Lord Jesus Christ.. without him we are lacking... I was reading a book titled... Holy Play that says GOD gave us the option of Free Will.. with that as long as we pray and ask him to bless it he can still accomplish HIS work through us.. So instead of seeking completeness we should remain incomplete but find a sense of contentment.. so once again are we supposed to be completely incomplete or Incompletely Complete.. I guess that's for us to decide.... Going to bed even more confused... but I shall have an answer tomorrow.

My Olympic Moment......

2010-01-08T21:20:00.000-08:00

Today as I was flipping through the free on demand I started watching different olympic moments they had posted for viewing... i began to watch some of my favorite olympic moments throughout history.... just to name a few... Michael Johnson in the 200 and 400 at the 1996 Olympics... The Magnificent 7 at the same games... Tara Lipinski at the 1998 Winter Olympics.. Sarah Hughes at the 2002 Olympics.... Mary Lou Retton at the 1984 Games.. Michael Phelps at the 2008 games.... Venus Williams at the 2000 Olympics.... There are more but those are just a few of my favorites.... I start to think man I would love to have that moment, the moment where you know that you have just done your best and you will be rewarded with the highest prize.. what we do not see is the hard work that those athletes into accomplishing those goals.. so I thought about it.. how much work have I put into getting my gold medal and obtaining my olympic moment.... We cannot let the glitz and glamour of the outside world take away from the hard work we must put in to obtain our gold medal... HARD WORK does EQUAL REWARD!!!

Happiness Depends on.... but Joy doesn't and neither does Happiness...

2009-12-25T21:39:00.000-08:00

So often we say oh if I had this I would be happy.. or if this were to happen i would be happy with the truth being if it happened you would be no happier than you are when you made the statement.... because the emptiness, the void you are trying to fill cannot be filled with material things... its an internal spiritual or mental issue that is keeping you from experiencing the happiness and joy you are longing for.. first you must know that all the joy you need in found in the Lord Jesus Christ.... secondly, that in him we have everything we need.... why are we so dependent of these outside things to make us happy.. we see other people with them.. we see them on television... or we have experienced them in some shape, form or fashion. we have to take our focus off of them.. focus on us.. within us is the happiness the joy to truly live the life we want.. to truly experience the joy that will not be broken by an empty bank account, a non-existent relationship, a dilapidated car, or a broken relationship with a parent.... in us and the Lord lies the strength we need to be happy and experience true joy.. when you are stripped naked or down to the bare essence of your heart and soul how do you feel? if the happiness or joy is not there then you are not truly happy or joyful. working on a blessed and prosperous 2010!!!!

Been Down Too Long, Don't Sell To The Lowest Bidder!

2009-12-25T19:40:00.000-08:00

I know i know it seems as if this title doesn't make sense but it makes perfect sense.. Some of us been down so long, fighting in the trenches so long that as soon there is a ray of sunshine, someone making an offer better than the situation we are in we jump on it.. selling to the lowest bidder without even weighing or waiting on the next bidder or prospect.... so is our plight... so is our story of selling short to achieve the feeling, the temporariness of escaping our situation... we think we are escaping but selling to the lowest bidder hurts us.. it limits us.. we are not able to reach our full potential..... we have sold our soul to the one who was not meant to purchase it.. the thing is we have been down this long.. we have been fighting this long.. we have endured the pain this long.. we have been in this story this chapter of our life this long.. hold out.. continue to fight.. continue to wait.. dont sell out or sell just yet.. there is something better.. something more worth while.. someone or something that is truly willing to pay the price of your worth..... don't sell just yet.. selling too soon will only put you back in the same situation further down the line... So just because it looks good doesnt mean you have to sell.. Don't SELL!!!! DONT SELL!!!!

READ THIS IT HEALS!!!

2009-12-20T21:31:00.001-08:00

http://trespasstochattels.blogspot.com/

Changing Your Posture to Position for Your Blessing!

2009-12-16T14:15:00.000-08:00

So often many of us blame other things for us not achieving or succeeding, yet we fail to look at our posture in the position we are in.... as I was writing my 2010 action plan I noticed that a lot of things on there I could change on my own and some of my own bitterness and misfortune came because of the posture I had taken in the situation..... For instance, I really like Houston but because of the posture I had taken I had taken myself out of position for a blessing here... I look at a lot of other people's situation and how we blame this or that but then I ask what was your posture in that situation.. did u slump down get defeated and take your lumps? did u retreat? did you go into the situation with a game plan? See your posture sets you up for your blessing... Now that I have realized this I know that I must posture myself differently in order to receive what is truly mine.... So before you blame any outside source check your posture more than likely its off....

Open Your Mouth...

2009-12-09T22:31:00.000-08:00

Sometimes you just have to drop the fear and pride and say what you want and mean because if you dont then you might never fulfill your dreams....... Open your mouth!!!!!! I just learned that again tonight..

Happy Face....

2009-12-06T22:20:00.000-08:00

So we have dropped the burdensome bags and told our slave owners that we are now emancipated.... guess what? put on that happy face.. today one of my slave owners tried to take back the rights to control my future... but i thought about it..... its just a tactic to send me back into the shell i once inhabited....... i wanted to respond to their childish rant.. they seem to use facebook to defame and pick mess.. the one song that came to mind was Happy Face by Destiny's Child... I cannot apologize because in the last 8 years you have done NOTHING to improve yourself and that in 8 years I have graduate college, law school, passed the TX bar and now a contributing member to society... i cannot help that your plot to destroy me did not work.... I cannot help the 10 friends you took from me turned into 100's... Slave owner its OVER!!!! Tonight is the last night.... the happy face is on..... GOD IS GOOD.. GOD Is LOVE.. and HE will make your enemies your foot stool!! Trust and Believe and watch him work... So after you have read the last word of this blog, SMILE, you are now free....

Tell Your Slave Owner.... I'm Free.....

2009-12-06T10:40:00.000-08:00

So often there is one person or a group of people who bring such negativity.. whether its people that talk down to you.. talk about you.. manipulate you or lie to you... it harms every aspect of your life.. and what we don't realize is that in return we do the same thing to someone else... if someone manipulates us we find someone else to manipulate.. if someone brings negative energy into our life we transport that negative energy into someone else's life.... if someone uses us we in return find someone to use... if someone hurts us in a relationship we make sure the next time we hurt the person before they can hurt us therefore transferring the hurt to someone else.. how many times have we allowed our slave owner to hurt us and we in return hurt someone else? So today with the bags you began to drop yesterday begin to free yourself from the slave owner who inflicts the hurt and pain.... don't allow them to place the shackles of hurt, manipulation, and negativity in your life.. for you only have the power to free yourself.... one by one.. take the shackle off the right ankle.. then the left... then both wrist.. then finally your neck.. because the one thing that hurts you the most has you in a choke hold.... the tightest grip... has you gasping for air.. begin to fight back.. free yourself... free yourself.... fly... God gave you wings to soar not to fly at ground level.... God is LOVE...

Classic

Bag Lady... Drop Them Bags!!!!

2009-12-05T16:25:00.000-08:00

Man, I was just relaxing in the house today and on V101 an ITUNES radio station began to play Bag Lady by Erykah Badu..... I always liked the song but never really paid attention to the lyrics.. Lo and Behold a message that I and many other people needed to hear.. Bag Lady, Bag Man, Bag Child drop all that heavy weight and BE FREE!!!!! Man a lot of us have been toting around baggage from past relationships, past jobs, past encounters, just everything that should have been left in the past... we are also carrying around bags of financial problems, guilt, love woes, and other types of worries.... one by one we should drop those bags that hold us back... that stifle us from being the free flying birds GOD created us to be.... drop the bags of expectations... the bags caring of what others think and say about us.... let the bags go..... we didnt come into the world with all those bags so we definitely should not have to pack them around.... so I am telling u... let this be that last month that you tote around all those bags... take them off one strap one bag at a time... place them behind you and never look back.... now that you have taken bag 1 off dont you feel lighter? now take bag 2 off... its like you can almost run... keep taking those bags off... you will see dropping all those bags will make you light.. carefree and a more enjoyable person.... more appreciative of the little things.. God is Love... what Erykah should have said is.... Bag People... DROP THEM BAGS... Let the people who placed them on your shoulder carry them!!!

Classic!

Back By Popular Demand...

2009-11-01T21:31:00.001-08:00

So it has been so long since I have blogged and I feel that I have been depriving myself of my public outlet to vent and discuss issues that I have.. Well, a lot has changed since July.. I have a job/ career, I have my own apartment, and things are going pretty well.... I am still serving the great GOD who is my provider, my stronghold, my Savior, my deliverer, and my ROCK. I could not have made it this far without the LORD on my side. Wow, my traveling has expanded somewhat... I have been to NYC twice and that is where I currently am writing this blog... Beginning now I am going to start writing as much as possible.. even daily.. I am going try something new and that is writing down random words throughout the day then writing on how they have influenced me..... Well, I must go to sleep because I have a 6am flight to catch in the morning and until tomorrow... Be Blessed.

At A Crossroads

2009-07-07T21:28:00.000-07:00

I know its been almost two months.. well it has been two months since I have left any words on this page and I am back again because my brain is cluttered.... I have a job offer that has some stipulations... There are pros and cons.... Finally a paycheck.... But wants me to enroll back in school... Already in debt.. schooling would bring more debt.... Being able to move on my own.... Able to help my sister... But also bringing on burdens... I am just so confused right now...... I am going to my devotion and prayer to get answers.. God always sends me an answer...

Best Regards,

Nervous, Uncertain, Needing the Lord's Guidance!

Steps To A Breakthrough!

2009-05-04T06:02:00.002-07:00

Well as you can see from the post below it is official I successfully passed the Texas Bar Exam on April 30th, 2009, my grandmother's 73rd birthday. The victory does not belong to me it belongs to the LORD! God up above and him alone got me through and no one but HIM! It is funny because through this I can give my testimony which in returns gives GOD the praise. There are some steps we must take to receive our breakthrough.

1) We must praise HIM in advance for the valley HE has us in because the same GOD that can allow us to venture into the valley can also set us atop a mountain top. See GOD tests our faith at our lowest levels he places us there to draw nearer to HIM to seek his face. So when in the valley you must ask yourself are you seeking GOD? When I did not pass the exam the first time I immediately prayed and asked GOD to give me peace of mind and then I made up my mind that the second time will not be like the last as evident in an older blog around that time. I told GOD if this is my test I know with GOD I can pass. After having to take a 7.50 job at Best Buy just to stay a float for the Christmas holidays, living off an income tax check, and collecting unemployment GOD placed me in the valley but while in the valley he supplied all my needs. When the bank account was running low Best Buy called, when the Holidays ended it was tax refund time, when the tax refund money was running low I was able to accept unemployment. I never did without, God supplied all my needs. All I did was draw nearer to GOD, still attending church, joining the young adult choir, and continuing to tithe even though I was receiving unemployment. I praised GOD, praised HIM in advance for the blessings and breakthrough that were on the way.

2) Give our time, our service, and our praise. See everyone always asks GOD for a blessing but never want to give GOD anything. Its funny we dedicate time to do household chores, to go shopping, to watch certain TV shows and nowhere in that schedule is time to give GOD the glory. During my period I found my refuge at my church where the spirit of the LORD dwells and GOD receives the HIGH PRAISE AT ALL TIMES! See for me church is a hospital, a doctor's office, a psychiatrists office, the LORD's house is somewhere we can be rehabilitated, tell the LORD (doctor) about our ailments, or just cry out to the LORD... Its the one place we can go and give the LORD unmitigated praise for past, present, and future blessings. A lot of us will not even gather with people of our same faith to Bless the LORD so GOD knows we won't bless HIM with others who don't believe like us. Don't get me wrong I attend church regularly but I never just let go like I did... Now I am in a new place with a new attitude. Everyday we should take time to give GOD the glory, just a little bit of our time... I also found refuge through listening to homemade GOSPEL CD's! Time could be on your way to work listening to gospel music and just meditating and thanking GOD, it could be having a prayer time during the day, or however you give GOD the glory, but you must give him your time... Through PRAISE we receive our breakthrough..... Remember the BIBLE said where our heart is, that shall our treasure be, WHERE IS YOUR TREASURE?

3) Pray for the LORD's will. When you pray in the morning and at night do not ask the LORD for specific things ask for his will to be done! Or when you ask if its your will then LET IT BE DONE.

4) Humble Yourself. God had to me HUMBLE ME. See our degrees, our accomplishments mean nothing to GOD for only what you do for HIM will last. GOD sat me down and let me know who was really in control. He placed me in the valley so that I could relinquish control and LET HIM TAKE CONTROL! Now HE is in the driver's seat completely and I know and I truly TRULY know that HE WILL NEVER LET ME FAIL! If you have to take a lower paying job so be it. If you have to give up shopping, eating out, and other extra curricular activities so be it.. How much are you willing to give up to receive GOD's blessings...

5) PRAISE PRAISE PRAISE!!!!! PRAISE HIM WHILE YOU DOWN TO COME OUT, PRAISE HIM WHEN YOU UP TO GO FURTHER, THROUGH OUR PRAISE WE RECEIVE OUR BREAKTHROUGH!!!!!

6) Don't be afraid to share the LOVE of GOD with someone else and don't be afraid to PRAISE him in front of others... When you give GOD the glory publicly and HE begins to bless you, people will look beyond the materialistic things and see that its truly a blessing and had it not been for GOD none of those things would be possible....

7) Don't make your own plan ask GOD to show you his plan.... Planning is great but if its not HIS WILL then its not going to work!

Make it ALL ABOUT GOD!!!! I praised him in the valley low, I am not praising him in the mountain TOP to GOD be the GLORY!

Basking in God's Favor,

Joseph K Plumbar, Esq.

I PASSEd

2009-05-04T06:02:00.001-07:00

I PASSED THE TX BAR EXAM!!!!!

Do You Really Believe What You Say?

2009-04-21T06:56:00.000-07:00

So many times we all profess things that we want to accomplish and how we believe in this and that, but how much of that do we actually believe? Do we actually believe the words that come out of our own mouth? Its one thing to say I want to be successful, but not believe it.... Its another thing to say I trust God in all circumstances, but everyday worry about things you know God is going to take care of.... See we tend not to practice what we say... We say things to make ourselves feel better about some situations, but just think if we started living or practicing all the positive things that we professed.... The problem are not the words they are the beliefs.... Start putting some of those positive thoughts into motion and let's see where it takes us....

Just Can't Sleep

2009-04-07T01:49:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had a night or a couple of nights where you just couldn't sleep. You prepared for bed early and prepared for a good 6-7 hours of sleep but you just couldn't sleep. Well, at 3:36 abruptly woke up and couldn't sleep. I laid down in my bed and tried to make myself sleep but I just couldn't fall asleep. Is it that I am worrying too much about things that I currently cannot control? Is it that I am not eating properly, which I am. I am not sure but whatever it is for the past week I just have not been able to sleep all the way through..... I really do not know what is going on... After trying aimlessly to fall asleep I decided to get down on my knees and pray and ask the LORD to remove whatever I was worrying about from me and to soothe my mind.... I also prayed for his never-ending favor. I just do not know why I cannot sleep tonight... Its hard.. I guess while I am up I will search for a job or do something constructive... It seems so hard right now to accomplish anything or get anything accomplished.... At some point you get tired of saddling the same horse and riding it over and over and over again, but the only way to get by is to finish the race. Sometimes I feel our load and our heart could be so heavy laden that we forget who actually is in control. Well, i thought maybe this blog would help me sleep I hope it does.. I know its a bunch of random nothingness but I really want to sleep.

Appreciate The Rain.. The Cold...

2009-03-14T12:34:00.000-07:00

It has been raining forever here in Houston and it has inspired me to write this blog... Although the weather has been horrible it has not stopped me from getting out of the house and enjoying life.

Many people are afraid of the rain and the cold and use them as excuses not to go anywhere and not to do anything but truth of the matter is we need the rain and the cold......... Although navigating in the rain is difficult it often creates a reality that if you can navigate through life's rain storms then when the calm comes the visibility is even clearer.. Smooth sailing as some would say.. Rain is the nurturer of new growth and new beginnings.. After a cold brutal winter that has sent animals into hibernation and plants into a frigid outward death the rain comes and revives the roots to start anew for the new year and the new season that lies ahead... Animals come out renewed ready for three seasons of flourishing.... So what we have a raining/ cold season one out of four seasons is not bad at all... Although the cold season may seem to set us back it actually destroys the branches and dead leaves that cannot sustain our future goals while the rain nurtures our roots and prepares us for a fruitful season... Things that are not fruitful must die in order to reproduce.. So there is nothing wrong with the rain and cold for they help us navigate the days full of sunshine.

Get out don't let the cold and rain hold you back let it help you flourish.. The cold and raining season is almost over.... Sunshine ALL DAY!!!

When Do I Get My Wants........

2009-03-12T08:17:00.000-07:00

As I arose this morning I begin to think when will I start getting my wants... ? I thank God everyday for keeping my needs met and allowing me to make it thus far but I want some things... A couple of things.. Some of them I will not name here but there are some things I want to happen in the very near future... VERY NEAR! So when is it okay to start expecting to get what we want? I need FEEDBACK!

If Opposites Attract... Then...... We're Screwed!

2009-02-28T09:16:00.000-08:00

We have been taught since elementary school that opposites attract whether it was in science when learning about magnetism or when you were discussing dating with friends or family the story has been over time that opposites attract... Well I have come to the conclusion that if opposites attract then we are all screwed....

Just from the theory of the simple magnet... The positive pole tugs at the negative pole and the negative pole tugs at the positive pole to create a strong bond that is only destroyed by extreme force. It so funny when you reflect over your life that at your most positive, optimistic moment there is always some negativity pulling you away from your positive outlook and thoughts on life... There is always negativity that will follow a positive person.. That really sucks ASS.... Why must at our must optimistic, positive moments be polluted with something so nasty and vile as negative people or opposition....

Its the same in dating if we consider ourselves to be good, honest, hardworking why would we date someone who is that total opposite of what we are? Sometimes having a little dissent in your life is good, but to totally disassemble everything you have earned or worked for because opposites attract is silly. So because you are a 85% good person you would like to date someone who is 85% bad to counteract your good side.. Last time I checked a negative subtracts from a positive so why would you lessen yourself? It is a lot easier to take away than to add.... I have never seen a negative add to a positive.. Have you?

This is why I figure.... If opposites are destined to attract we are all screwed.

I'm Back!!!!!!!

2009-02-27T06:40:00.001-08:00

Well it has been another journey but I can honestly say that I am back. I have cleared the major hurdle I was preparing for now the waiting game begins... Man have you ever noticed when you are alone at home and have nothing to do that that's when you begin thinking about the most random stuff.... or when you are driving a good distance and actually not on your phone that your brain tends to throw out thoughts that are hidden in your sub-conscience? It is weird... I have the deepest thoughts and I often ask myself if this is how I truly feel or is this that little devil on my shoulder.... Sometimes I feel it is how i truly feel... I had this one thought where it feels like I lost something forever and I often debate and wonder about it... It irritates the hell out of me but I know its nothing I can do about it. Anyway, so now I am ready to start posting to tell you all about my confused cluttered thoughts.. See you in a little while.

End The Search Party.....

2009-01-24T06:33:00.001-08:00

In 2009 a lot of us have begin searching for things that we want to conquer, gain, or just have but I am here to tell you that you can end the search party for what you are looking for has been found its just waiting on you to receive it. I had a realistic dream last night and it inspired me to write this blog. No, I will not go into detail about the dream but let's just say it revealed to me that some of the things I had been searching for I had already found and was close to losing because I had yet to claim them.

So as you send out the search dogs searching always remember things you search for can be found right under your nose. Whether its love, companionship, happiness, inner peace, or success it right there within you. One bad thing about searching for something is sometimes you find it and sometimes you don't. I know you may be thinking well if I don't look for it then how will I ever find it? Well, its funny because when the time is right things seem to always find you right where you began looking. Here is my piece of advice for today if you are going to search make sure you look around home base first because what you are looking for my be right there. Take off the blinders and if it shows up at home base then accept it and claim it before you lose it!

HYPE

2009.

2009-01-14T23:15:00.000-08:00

Well, it has been quite some time since I have blogged so I decided it was time for me to get back in the habit because this released so much pressure and allowed me to talk to the world uninhibited. To catch everyone up I am currently studying for the Texas Bar Exam but this time it already feels different I already feel successful and I am going into the Exam knowing I will Pass. Other than that LIFE has been great and I have really learned to trust and lean on God, I gave up all my worries and told him to lead me for I will follow.

I have decided to take some risk in 2009 and see if they will pay off. I cannot sit here and complain and not make any moves to change my situation. Therefore, there are some things I am going to do to see if they will help me get ahead if they do GREAT if they don't GREAT also. Well, I promise to blog more often. It's getting late and I need to get some rest for another full day of studying but I promise to write and present more insight and inspire you all to make 2009 yours. Oh yeah My name for 2009 is Hype!! I will blog on the name change later... LOL!

Sincerely Yours,

HYPE

2009 Won't Be The Same....

2008-12-31T14:56:00.001-08:00

Every year we all make resolutions on what we are going to do to change and make the new year different. Well, I finally decided to take this resolution seriously and stick exactly to what I said I was going to do. 2008, has definitely been a struggle and did not end as I would have liked it to but there is always a new season and a new beginning. About three weeks ago I came to the conclusion that the only thing holding me back was myself. Fear. Fear had kept me from pursuing so many things so now I have kicked fear to the curb and will be pursuing my dreams with diligence. See, 2008 was my year of test some I failed and some I passed but the ones I failed I have re-taken and passed now. 2009 will not be 2008 that I Swear. New opportunities, New attitude. I have dealt with the old demons that tend to cloud the clarity for which I can see my life so clearly. 2008 was the year of being kept by God. Because just when it looked as if I was going to be down and out HE raised me, took care of me, and provided for me. Thank you for that.. So now I am going to try something a lil different. Because the GOD I serve is all-knowing, loving, caring, can solve any problems, I am going to walk with more confidence. With the arrogance that I am being kept by a GOD who feeds His flock and provides for them at all times.. This new attitude has already made 2009 a success... To some of my friends who are going through right now I love you and remember I have been where you are and I love you all.... 2009 is ours... Write your goals down, post them on your mirror and repeat them... 2009 here I come...

Rooting for the Home Team......

2008-11-30T22:00:00.000-08:00

Sometimes we find ourselves rooting so much for others we forget to root for ourselves... We can be our own worst enemy..... In ourself we have a team that needs a fan base and at the head of that fan base should be ourself....... We find ourself rooting for friends, family, and lovers that we lose our own fan base to the very team we are rooting for.... psychologically our brain needs the support of self in order to push us to higher heights and to get us to think that we can do anything possible...... we make sure we are on time to their events neglecting ourself and running late and selling ourself short for our own priorities..... i guess what i am trying to say in all the cluttered mess is sometimes we need to take time to sure up self... to make sure that we put self first sometimes and build the confidence needed to sustain healthy living.... we can get so caught up in others lives that we forget the WE as a person exist and we need to show ourself the same time, attention, and love we show others.... I am one who is guilty of giving, giving, and giving and never taking time to make sure that I am happy or that I am doing things to better myself.... After taking an assessment I felt that it is important that now more than ever I root for myself and the more I root for myself the more others will root for me... the more others root for me the more support I have.... The important part is... if no one else is willing to root for me I can still root for myself and that's all I need....

How Close To Perfection Will You Come?

2008-11-27T20:01:00.000-08:00

Two blogs in one night.... I am really getting back into the habit but I have so much I want to talk about..... Have u ever felt that its my time..... I am ready... I want it right now.... I can't wait.... How much longer... The anxiety always seems to kill you... The way the world moves so rapidly we want everything right now, but I have always been told that perfection can never be rushed it has many specifications that must be adhered to... See I was pondering on some of things I must take away from certain situations that I am placed in and I thought about it.... I kind of look at the world as a huge marketplace that God has placed us in.... See you purchase one thing compare it to another and find out which one you like.... Then upon all the things you purchase and compare you begin to build a list of likes and dislikes... you narrow the choices down and as you narrow the choices down you come closer to what is perfect for you.... See there are so many things to choose from... some are good for us and others aren't but we don't always know what's good or bad from just looking at them.. sometimes we have to test them out or give them a dry run.... After the test drive we make a clear and conscious decision on whether its good or bad..... Sometimes bad things come in good wrappers but we don't know that until we unwrap them.... Its okay because this gives us warning signs for the next situation.... an idea on what to look for in friends, relationships, jobs, or any other real life situations.... Because in order to get to perfection we have to mess up, start over, and rearrange things.... See perfection never started out perfect... So its up to the sculptor of your masterpiece to determine how close to perfection you will come.. and that sculptor is you..

Classic

Making the Right Moves with Bad Cards....

2008-11-27T19:32:00.000-08:00

See when I first heard this song you are now listening to while reading my blog I just turned it off I didn't listen to the words but now that I have listened to it I have fallen in love... See life deals us hand after hand and depending on how we play that end we could either win, lose, or come out even.... Sometimes our hands can be a complete bust but if you play your cards right and strategize bad cards can still win........ Even the best hands can lose..... Nothing in life is guaranteed and all you can do is play your cards as they come... When you receive a bad hand in life don't look at how bad the hand is.. Take your hand rearrange them until they are playable... then once they are playable then begin to compete.... Don't let life's hand knock you out just play them hey prayer and grace helps you win also... Playing My Cards!!!

Classic!!1

It Doesn't Take Much To Be Thankful....

2008-11-26T18:13:00.001-08:00

When we think of the many things we have it should not be hard for us to give THANKS to the LORD GOD for everything HE has done for us......... See we take for granted so many things that God has given us... Every breath I take.. Thankful... Every cent and I do mean cent I have left in my bank account.. Thankful.... For my loving family... Thankful.... For eyes to see God's creation and creatures.. Thankful... For a beating heart.. Thankful.... For the car I drive... Thankful.... For the emotions I can experience which lets me know I am in my right mind... Thankful... For the friends who have leaned on me and allowed me to lean on them... Thankful...... For the people who have allowed me to live with them rent free... Thankful.... For God's Grace and Mercy... Thankful.... For letting me live to see Barack Obama elected.. Thankful.... For the things God has kept me safe from... Thankful..... I have would not made it this far and through all troubles, transgressions, and trials I am thankful he stood by me....... See I know through PRAISE i can rectify any feelings of fear, despair, pain, anger, inadequateness.... Thank you... So Thankful.....

Classic...

Phoenix Rising..... From the Ashes I will Emerge....

2008-11-22T20:28:00.000-08:00

The tale of many success stories begin with pain... suffering.. shortcomings.... tears.... struggle.... So why should mine be any different.... As i was instant messaging a friend on yahoo we began talking about life and how and it just have a funny way of panning out... It made me become appreciative of the struggles I am now facing.... I can now smile through my adversity and realize that from the ashes I will EMERGE! Every person should go through a renovation and a rebuilding stage every couple of years... See, just like an old building our foundation becomes weak, our walls begin to change color and our facade become cracked and weathered.... but just like that old building we must renovate or sometimes demolish and start all over again.. Either way we must fix the problems we face..... So right now I am going through a complete renovation getting rid of all the outdated fixtures and filling in gaps that have emerged in my foundation... Even though those renovations bring pain, tears, and struggle it is there to strengthen my weakening soul.... For the tears represent the pouring of new cement in the foundation ridding myself of the gaps.... The struggle represents the welding and making of my beams to make me stronger, sturdier to sustain more... my shortcomings represent the cracks and weathering in my facade that must be cleaned, bleached, polished, and resurfaced in order to make me more well rounded.... See from the ashes we rise.... from the top we fall... Right now I am in a renovation stage and it starts from the tears (new foundation), to the struggle (welding), to my shortcomings (cleaning, polishing, and resurfacing)... From this I will emerge a new building ready to sustain anything that is thrown at it... Remember rising is a lot better than falling...

Classic.

Really Throwing My Hands Up and Letting God Have Control...

2008-11-19T18:24:00.000-08:00

As much as we say we are giving something to GOD how many of us actually give it up and leave it there? I find myself losing control of my own life by trying to control too much of my life. See anyone who knows me knows that I am a person who is God-fearing and one who gives God the glory through the good, the bad and the ugly. Many people who read my blog I have had personal conversations with where we have helped each other through difficult times. I find myself counseling my friends and being strong for them even when I cannot be strong for myself. See these next couple of months will be a true test of my faith in GOD and I will be solely in his control. See right now I am even struggling with totally giving God the control for I am trying to make a way for myself instead of just giving it over to GOD.... Control.. Let God have it.. He will make a way for he has done it a million times over.... Everyday I will try to place more and more of my hand inside God's and tighten the grip.... I vow from this day forward that God is going to guide my steps and take complete control of my future... I just have to take it one day at a time.. one problem at a time... God is in control..... He will guide me!

25 is Just A Number.....

2008-11-11T14:27:00.000-08:00

At 25 it would seem that I would be entering the prime of my life.... a stable career, a loving relationship, and many other things that people my age long for..... At 25, I have neither...... See I have tried to force some of these things thinking it would make me happy.... or make my heart content but it would only temporarily satisfy my hunger for those things.... See there is a season for everything a winter, spring, summer, and fall.... 25 is still so very young and I have so much more to live for... to love for.. to understand.... to gain wisdom..... 25 is just a number.... There is no year or age where you God said you should receive your blessings but they come as HE sees fit administer them. Sarah didn't have her children until she was well into her 100's.... Moses wasn't truly blessed until late in his age... So there is no reason to rush or expect things when its not their season.... Seasons come seasons go.... Lord, I am walking into my season.... So 25 your are here and I will enjoy you and learn so therefore when I hit 26 I won't have to live 25 all over again.... Shoutout to the person whose name seems to be exactly what they are....

Classic

Turning My Stepping Stones To A Stairwell

2008-11-07T04:43:00.000-08:00

Yesterday at around 2:30pm I received the news that I was not successful on the Texas Bar Exam. I thought to myself what do I do? What do I say? Who do I tell? Well, after spending five minutes of reflection and accepting the fact that I was not successful I already had my mind made up that February would not be the same as July. See those results changed nothing, I looked at God and said Lord, I am still in the refiner's fire when you are ready to take me out I know that everything will be alright. I had to swallow my pride and tell my family I was not successful. See I was always known as the studious one, the one who applied himself and did what he had to do to become a success. This exam, this moment was different I had to relay news that " I will be sitting for the February Bar Exam." I did not lose and inkling of pride, nor did feel bad for I know in his plan is my purpose and within that purpose is my life and my calling. For I do not take this as a failure but as a referendum on my future. This stepping stone will turn into a step on the stairwell to greatness for me. I did not wallow in pity over this I looked to God and said you have a master plan that I cannot see but I already know you will provide! It did not hurt me as much as I thought it would it just numbed me to a point where I said OK let's move on! If you noticed I never mentioned the word FAILURE because that would be implying that I gave up or tossed in the towel. I have just not succeeded at one thing but there is a second revival, a second chance, a second hope, a second coming. IT IS HERE!!!!

Classic

Not Seeing What You See....

2008-10-24T20:16:00.000-07:00

When people see me they see so much... Love, Loyalty, Success, Intelligence, Selflessness... These are all the things people have told me about myself over the last couple of days.... If all of these thing are true then why when I look in the mirror I do not see the same? Is it because I am so hard on myself I do not allow the GOOD JOSEPH to outshine the SAD JOSEPH... Today was hard I had a breakdown that was beyond anything I can remember. I want to believe what everyone else sees in me but its so hard when it seems I have nothing to show, but thats just it those things do not require a showing of anything its apart of character. I am trying to intertwine physical things with mental things and you just cannot do that. I know I know, be patient I was told today but patience is so hard it really is. Patience has always been of my weak points but when I was patient good things always came to me.. My first test of patience came in high school when I tried out for drum major and it took like 2 weeks for results to come out.. GEEZ I never thought I had made it but two weeks later I was given the go ahead. I was a drum major for the BLUE WAVE. So why do I worry so much? I am going to look in the mirror after this blog recite what others see in me and recite them every morning.. Reciting over and over becomes habit which becomes belief. From now on I am going to see what others see.

Classic

We Are Only As Happy As We Allow Ourselves To Be...

2008-10-21T08:55:00.000-07:00

Sit down and take a load off. Relax a little bit and just forget about all the problems and issues you have been dealing with. See we allow ourselves to be bogged down with all our issues and problems and it keeps us from enjoying the day God has blessed us with. For the past couple of days I have decided to forget about all my problems and issues and make myself happy. See we are only as happy as we allow ourselves to be. I noticed that when I just let go and deal with things one at a time it makes life easier. So as you read this blog take a load off relax do something enjoy and make your days from here on out happy and joyous!

Classic.

My Mind is All Over The Place

2008-10-20T02:41:00.000-07:00

I am writing my first blog as a 25 year old and it feels so different. I have decided to take a different approach to life and just take it as it is. I love the LORD and he has not failed me yet. Well, since I have last blogged a lot has happened... I had two interviews for jobs and both I am waiting on a call back, but I know its just a matter of time before one does call back... I have been worrying myself to death and rushing the process which you cannot do.. Its only a test of my faith.... Its so early in the morning but I couldn't sleep I think I ate too much over the weekend. Everyone is going through financial crisis right now waiting on bar results and the such. This is my shout out to everyone hold strong we are all going to get through this YES WE ARE! Well, all of my deepest thoughts seems to dissipate once I started to blog so I will be back later with the deep stuff.

The Proof Is In The Pudding......

2008-10-11T09:16:00.000-07:00

Its been a minute since I have blogged but now that I have some actual downtime I think its time that I do just that. Staying positive is very important. Looking at everything and everything that happens from a positive point of view is the only way to make it. Everything happens for a reason and we should not question the motive at the time but just know its part of God's perfect plan. See the proof is in the pudding. God has brought me through time and time and time and time again. So the proof is there staring in my face that when one door closes another opens. Lord I trust that when the door closes you have another for me to walk through.

His proof is in HIS word and his Word never lies! Thank you Jesus for your blessings in advance!

Classic

Life is Changing....

2008-10-04T22:11:00.000-07:00

When it seems like you have figured things out another curve ball comes your way. Well, this weekend I went to visit my father-daddy in Chicago and I had a great time. The first time I came here it was just to get away and I did not have a good time. Well, I learned a lesson you can do things without expectations and have a GREAT TIME! I got to see and do a lot of things because I did not have any distractions. I figured out something tonight... Chicago is a city on my list that I would LOVE to move to. I am ready.. Ready to step out and get away.

Loving Chicago,

Classic.

Psalm 27:1-3

2008-09-28T21:52:00.001-07:00

Read Psalm 27:1-3

The Real Change is You....

2008-09-26T06:01:00.000-07:00

So many times we find things that WE think is/are wrong with our life and we try to blame it on one thing, but the truth of the matter is the only thing can blame is ourselves. The only person that can change a situation or a feeling is a person going through the situation or the person having the feelings. See, its so easy to want to change without implementing the necessary steps to bring about change. So many have slipped into what my previous blog called complacency. As long as certain things happen we are afraid to shake up our lives. Afraid that if we move too much that we will lose the stability we have. See with change comes a new day, with a new day comes new opportunities. Everyday of life we should correct the mistakes of yesterday and not allow them to fester or cause our next day to ruin.

My Black, African- American, American people we have to come out of this slave mentality of not wanting to move forward and when the system is not working we just sit back and complain. God has given us the tools to make our lives better. Or when the system is ok we are ok with just being ok. Another thing if you are not passionate about something how can anyone believe that you really want something? Passion is seen through the eyes, felt in the heart, and persecuted in the brain. All I am saying is if you are having problems, SEEK CHANGE. The change has to be one implemented by you and your soul has to embody the change because a change that is for anything or anyone else is only temporary and will not last. As you can see my mind is cluttered with all types of thoughts this morning but I encourage every reader to examine themselves and find out what is truly wanted in life then make a plan, set goals, and conquer them. Have A Blessed Day

Classic

Contentment vs. Complacency

2008-09-23T23:31:00.000-07:00

I felt compelled to write this blog. Although contentment and complacency (complacent) seem to be synonyms they are actually two words with different things. Contentment is when you are in a state of stillness waiting on God to tell you to move. Complacency is when you have doubted God and settled for less that what HE has in store for you. See, so many of us think we have reached the peak of life and this is where God wants us to be and have become complacent. We tend to believe God cannot take us any further or we doubt God's power. Well I am telling you do not become complacent in your thoughts or actions, but be content. For God's work is never finished and we must be content in order to hear God's next instruction.

Classic

It's this Simple!

2008-09-20T18:20:00.000-07:00

We have created our own vision of what we want our life to be, we cant compare it to other people's reality. If you really wanted to live the same lifestyle they were living you would have settled a long time ago. Those people don't have anything that you can't or won't get.

Classic by Inspiration from Trespass to Chattels.

P.S. Always remember you have your own trail to blaze.

Self Reflection

2008-09-19T03:40:00.000-07:00

So I awake at 5:25am with a passion to write this blog. I rolled over and figured out that I could not catch another wink of sleep without writing. I have been trying to figure out what it is that is bothering me so much. Well, I think I have figured it out. See for those who truly know me you know I am the most giving, attentive, non-selfish person in the world. When you call me I LISTEN ATTENTIVELY, when you IM or WRITE me I READ THOROUGHLY, when you call I ANSWER PROMPTLY. Hell there is a long list of people in the world I would give MY LAST to. Have you checked your list lately? I bet it is nowhere near as long as mine. Maybe thats part of my problem my list is extremely long. I have not one selfish bone in my body, my whole life has revolved around others and their happiness. I am one who puts everyone and everything before self. So when it seems that some of the ones on the list don't exhibit the same behavior it hurts.

See I once told myself I would become more selfish in order to advance my life and own happiness but I just can't. That would mean ignoring and not paying attention to lots of people in my life. I love being around people and I love helping! One of my friends once told me you have to become more selfish to get what you want in life. They are right but if getting what I want means giving up me I cannot do it because what you want is always what you need. God knows my hearts, He knows me better than anyone else. So when I say I trust in the Lord 100% its a lie because I also have trust in people and placing your trust in people will surely lead to destruction. Therefore I will divert that trust and place 100% of it in the Lord. Lord I am asking you in front of all my readers make me STRONGER, WISER, GIVE ME INNER PEACE, and an ABUNDANCE OF JOY! So to the notion that I must become selfish to become successful is a LIE! I will just take more of my needs into consideration now more than ever!

CLASSIC

The Older I Get.. The Wiser...

2008-09-18T21:16:00.000-07:00

As I get older I realize that I am become more wiser than years past. I start seeing bullshit a lot earlier. I can call a duck a duck at first sight. It is funny because the older I get the more blunt I get, the more blunt I get the more likely I am not to care about things that I used to. Tonight I said something to one of my friends that was out of context but it was in protection of them not to harm them or hurt them. Well, I think I hurt them more than I helped them. One thing about me is that I will apologize when I am wrong and that I did, but if they continue to be mad then its something I can not help, I apologized and it was sincere. It was not two weeks ago the same situation happened and they were in my shoes but I shook it off but I guess they need a little more time.

Well, I went through the phonebook in my cell phone and deleted lots of numbers. I always say I am going to do things differently and move forward yet I seem to regress backwards. So I felt in order to move forward I had to get rid of some numbers because some of those people cause me to regress into the very things I am trying to escape. I am coming up on my 25th birthday and I am ready to propel into a bright future. I declare here on this blog that I Will, I Can which means I SHALL! If you get older and do not get wiser than you are actually getting younger in the mind and shall remain in an adolescent stage. Your latter shall be greater than your past!!

MOVE FORWARD, PRESS ON!

CLASSIC

Afraid To... Not Anymore

2008-09-17T15:16:00.000-07:00

I had some reflection time today at the gym and I started thinking about some of the opportunities that I passed up because I was AFRAID TO. I began to wonder what if I had done this or done that would I have more? Would I have accomplished greater things? Then I began to say AFRAID TO is not supposed to be in my character. I am a true believer in God and being afraid or fearful is equal to doubting GOD. I began to sulk and wish I could have just some of those AFRAID TO moments back. I began to wonder what would have happened if I was not AFRAID TO.

Well I am taking a new step in life and going to let the moments I was AFRAID TO go and stop being AFRAID TO let go. From now on if its something I want I WILL NOT BE AFRAID TO ANY LONGER AND I WILL NOT LET ANYONE ELSE MAKE ME AFRAID TO. Therefore, I am not afraid but will trust and place everything in GOD's hands.

Classic

Listen To Me!

2008-09-16T17:44:00.001-07:00

Where do I begin this blog? I have been getting a little frustrated. It seems though as if sometimes I am out in this world alone. Its like I talk but no one listens. I am sitting here screaming for someone to listen, to understand, but it always seem as if I am talking to a brick wall or that I am merely puffing hot air. Hello? Is anyone listening? I am talking I really need you to Listen, not only listen but listen attentively. Hello? Are you there? I am freaking talking... Have you been paying attention? Obviously not. I always listen and listen attentively. I always offer advice. I am always supportive.. Ugh!

Its funny how when people need your help or thing are wrong in their world you are important but when the shoe is on the other foot you become insignificant. Oh well its how the world works. I am not mad just learning and understanding that I am RESILIENT! That sometimes to be great you have to endure things of this nature. Never forget a road that seems to be leading you to nowhere may end up taking you somewhere important. Thanks blog for listening.. Will be back later.. I am sure I will be frustrated again!

Classic

A Classic Takes Time

2008-09-15T00:57:00.000-07:00

So many us of us want our success immediately, but many did not get where they were instantly. See there are lots instant classics (fads) but there are few weathered, timeless classics. Instant classics happen everyday, but classics that are molded, heated, shaped, and polished are mostly created over time and are rare.. See I have listened to some older, wiser people I have spoken with over the weekend and I think the message that I received from them was, "Son, you are going to be a classic it just takes time."

If you ask me what is it that I want and that is to be a classic. I don't want to be a hot shot, or a temporary fad, I want to be a classic. See fads come and they go but classics stick around forever. Von Dutch gone, Ralph Lauren and Chanel still here. Daewoo gone, Mercedes still here. See all the classics have stood the test of time but over time adapted and embraced the new fads to survive. Classics are often imitated but never completely duplicated. So when people ask what is the one thing I want out of life its to be classic at what I do.

J Kelly- Classic!

God's Puts You Right Where You Need To Be

2008-09-15T00:48:00.000-07:00

Have you ever fought something so much that it took all of your mental and physical prowess only in the end to succumb to the one thing you have been fighting. Well, I often wondered what path God wanted me to take after law school and wondered where would I end up. Well, I fought one decision and now I understand why I am here. I am where I am at to gain wisdom and knowledge. I have realized God puts you right where he needs to be in order to further His business. God also placed me here to get something I missed as a child, but I realize its never too late to get it. I am receiving it with Joy and Love. I understand now and next time I will not question God's will for me. Lord I love you and I know why you have put me where I am.

J Kelly

After The Storm...

2008-09-13T08:01:00.000-07:00

Well I slept through most of Hurricane Ike but from what I can remember those winds were pretty strong. As mentioned I was used the time to self-reflect and determine what I really really want. And how exciting it was. I figured what I did and didn't like, who and what I wanted, when, where, how, and all that. So after the storm has passed comes clarity. My clarity is here and I am excited.

As I watch the news I am glad that Ike did not do the damage it could have done. Isnt it a testament to life the storm never has catastrophic damage but just enough to get you ready for the next storm and increase your appreciation for life.

Appreciation increased. Clarity clear. What I want.. known. What I need, evident. If you have a chance check out two of my friends blog http://miss86ed.blogspot.com and http://trespasstochattels.blogspot.com. Have a great day.

Calm Before The Storm...

2008-09-12T19:19:00.001-07:00

So its 9:19 and I am awaiting the arrival of Hurricane Ike. So far so good... I have been having a great day I went swimming, I taped up windows, I cooked and now I am just all relaxed. I have a great week coming up ahead of me. I just hope everyone stays safe and that damage is minimal.

Sitting here waiting on Ike's arrival reminds me a lot of some of the most apprehensive moments that I have had in my life and I have had some. You know that after the storm its going to be a beautiful day. I have so many things I want to talk about but right now I am not going to divulge because it will take too much time..

See you after Ike.

Not Letting Visitors Overstay Their Welcome

2008-09-09T21:05:00.000-07:00

Today I began reading The Purpose Driven Life. It is a book that asks you to read a chapter a day for forty days.. Well guess what? The fortieth day is around my birthday so that is super exciting.. I know its been a while since I have blogged but I have been extremely LAZY!

Today I received an exciting phone call which I do not wish to share at this time but I will update later. I have been taking life 1 day at a time counting all my blessings. All the sourpuss attitudes and moods do not come around anymore probably because I refuse to let them dwell in my heart or mind. See our minds and hearts are dwelling places by which we have choice on who we let reside there. So many times we let guests and unexpected visitors overstay their welcome. Its okay to have visitors just do not let them stay too long.

Its okay to feel hurt, pain, sorrow, regret but do not let it dwell too long for it will become a lifestyle and it be your hindrance from success. Remember God is not a God of pain, sorrow, or regret, He is a God of life, fulfillment, happiness, and obedience. Remember its time for you overstayed unwanted visitors to CHECK OUT!

The Reason I Am....

2008-09-01T20:32:00.000-07:00

Today was a great day. I was able to spend time with my family and I learned a lot. Sometimes if you sit back and watch each person in your family you begin to notice traits thats seem similar. No matter what path either of the members of your family has taken there are similar traits.. Well I know today where I get my uplifting, fighting, persistent attitude from. My mom who is my rock, my mother, my friend, a fighter, loving, accepting, spiritual, an educator, persistent, and a striver. She is the reason I am today. My grandparents (both sets) not educated, but fighters, persistent, way makers, pioneers, and last but not least loving. My Father, wrong but not afraid to admit it, loving, always there. The rest of my family are one in the same. Today I learned where my mother received all of her traits from while my grandmother told a tragic story of an event in her life, but SHE MADE IT. She persevered. When I examine myself and try to figure out why I am the way I am it is evident. I fight because its instilled in me, I love because I have been loved, I find ways at end roads because thats what I was raised to do, I blaze my own path because I choose to lead not to follow, I will admit I am wrong because my dad is not afraid to, I am spiritual because its runs through my blood, I am accepting because no one is foreign to my family, and I am your rock and your friend because that is who God made me and that a trait my family gave me. So when I examine myself its easy for me to trace every trait back to its root. I Am because They Are! I love you guys.. Good Night.. Keep God 1st!

J Kelly

Who Have You Inspired Today?

2008-08-28T04:24:00.000-07:00

This blog is important to me. As I took a job at a local call center here in Houston to earn money while waiting to find something better I realized that I had not been doing the job I was supposed to do and that was INSPIRE people to be better, do better, and want more. As one of the supervisors came in and spoke with us about the upward mobility of the job the first thing he said was, "do you see the kind of car I drive?" The reason this bothered me so much was because it was a white male speaking to a group of African Americans. I became infuriated because I thought how dare you sit here and sell MY PEOPLE a pipe dream. Many of these people eyes lit up because he drove the BRAND NEW BLACK CADILLAC with the rims. Why don't you explain your financial security? 401(k) plan? Health insurance? Is this what us African Americans have sold our souls for a NEW BLACK CADILLAC... or a new car period or material things? Do not misread what I am reading there is nothing wrong with material gain but why accept it now when there is something much better out there.

The comments I made to my coworkers was, "yes he has a nice car but what is his living situation.?" "How good is his credit?" "How much is in his bank account on reserve?" The eyes of my co-workers lit up in amazement because someone spoke out against the BLACK CADILLAC. Then they begin to ask me questions that would help them in the long run. What can I do? I don't want to be in school for four years what else can I do? Even by doing a role play where I made them play professionals I saw the inspiration they received by knowing that it is possible. My partner began saying after the role play I am going to do this and this and this. It made me feel that maybe just by planting a seed someone might see their way out of the call center. So my question to you is "Who have you inspired today?"

Many people who are reading my blog are colleagues, classmates, and friends of mine who are on their career path and who are truly blessed. So why have you not shared your blessings, your struggle, and your story to help uplift someone else? Many of use live inspired lives without the inspiration. Dreams and aspirations of generations of family members who could not be in the position we are today. And no you did not make here alone! Along with God someone helped inspire you to get where you are today, whether it was a parent, a pastor, a friend, a relative, or anyone else someone inspired you to be better, do better, and want more. So why are we so selfish when its our turn to inspire someone? Are we too caught up in our own success to motivate someone else to become successful. I call it inspirational neglect because you killed the inspiration and motivation someone gave you and instead of passing it on.

My people, my people we have come too far to accept or let someone accept the pipe dream. As I conclude remember God blessed you to be an inspiration to others. So make sure that everyday God allows you to be on this earth, that you inspire at least 2 people a day. So stop loathing in your own success and find someone to inspire. This is the challenge I pose to everyone who reads this blog.

J Kelly

Getting Out The Anger... Moving On....

2008-08-27T10:51:00.000-07:00

Who knew the younger sister of a international superstar could help me move on. Well, I decided its time to move on close the doors of anger and blaze my own path. I can sit here and blame my lack of no work on my degree or because no one wants to hire me or my school, but that's only an excuse to soothe my mind and make me feel better about my laziness. There is so much more I could be doing besides complaining and whining about my current situation.

Well the younger sister I am talking about is Solange Knowles. Listening to her CD allows me to escape into her life and compare it to mine. Life is not easy but it's definitely worth living. Life will not move forward or progress until you humble yourself and decide that you are going to get out and knock on every door until one opens. Sure lots of them will close or probably never even open but if you never knock then how will you know if it will open.

Sure I could have done more things to make myself marketable, but it will not deter my drive, my motivation, and my determination. For I will be persistent I will knock on every door until the right one opens. Like Solange says I am not here to be Johnny, Thurgood, or any other famous attorney I am only here to be J Kelly (My God Given Name). That's all I can and will be. So until the door opens I will continue to knock. May God Bless.

J Kelly

Getting Your Heart and Mind In Sync...

2008-08-26T07:06:00.001-07:00

So many times we are plagued by decisions or feelings that are a true conflict between our heart and mind. So when making decision and determining feelings which part of your body is telling you the correct thing to do?

Well your mind is often an impulse of what you want of have been daydreaming to happen and you heart is your conscience on what you know should happen. In order to really make the best decision or decipher your true feelings one must reconcile the heart and the mind so that they become one. In order for life to be successful your heart and mind must beat, think, and work as one organ. How is that possible one may ask? Simple, make resolutions, stick to them, and make sure you do not divert from them.

So often I find myself daydreaming about this or that and then I realize thats not in sync with my heart so everyday I have vowed to wake up, pray, make new resolutions as well as keep old ones. The only way to truly have peace joy and happiness is to make sure you walk with God and that your mind and heart walk hand in hand.

J Kelly

Picking Up Other's Messes!

2008-08-23T11:37:00.000-07:00

All my life I have been the one to clean up after people whether its relationship problems, financial problems, spiritual problems, or just lending an ear. Don't get me wrong I don't mind being there for friends, family, and co-workers but some messes can only be cleaned up by the person who created it. What frustrates me most is when someone asks my opinion and I pour my heart and soul into the advice I give and they totally disregard what I have said. Damn, if you knew what you were going to do in the first place why in the FUCK did you ask me?

Another thing that irritates the hell out of me is when people do not give a damn about shit! Have a little pride about the shit you have and the shit you do. If you can find time to do everything else why can't you find time to take care of your business including home. It gets irritating. Sometimes I feel like the damn landfill where everyone dumps all their trash and expects me to sort through to create fertilizer to nourish them again in order for them grow. Wow, what an analogy huh? Well its true. If there is one thing I know how to do is SORT THROUGH SHIT, CLEAN IT UP, THEN POLISH IT!

Maybe I shouldn't complain... Maybe its a gift from GOD... I think it is... To all my friends reading this blog this is not a direct attempt to persecute any one person its just the way I currently feel at this moment. Sometimes Guys we need to CLEAN UP (literally) after ourselves and stop depositing our trash elsewhere. Its our trash so lets throw it away and deal with it. I love you ALL.. And ALL OF YOU KNOW I AM HERE FOR YOU IF U NEED ME... THIS BLOG WAS JUST SOME CLUTTERED THOUGHTS!!! And I never get tired of helping.. The only time I get pissed off is when you come to me for appeasement cause I am not here to appease you but to KEEP IT 100 and hopefully you will do the same with me.

J Kelly

The Search Has Ended...

2008-08-22T21:06:00.000-07:00

I lift up a rock.. its not there.... i look under my mattress its not there.. I google it.. still can't find it... I check my wallet... empty... I call my friends... none of them have it... Damn, where is it? I scrounge through the stores at the mall.. nowhere to be found... I even look at the gym while working out and it has eluded me.. As I become extremely frustrated I look up and what do I see? Exactly what the hell I have been looking for.. I find it staring straight back at me... It's me... I embody everything I need, everything I want, and everything I desire. I figured out the problem I was looking at everyone and everywhere else instead of looking at me... Now comes JOY!

J Kelly

First Cluttered Blog

2008-08-22T19:58:00.000-07:00

Good Evening World.... Well, this is my fist blog and I actually think this shit is going to make me a healthier person. I named my shit a cluttered mind because I have so many thoughts and shit that run through my mind that it creates a landfill of thoughts in my head. Sometimes I do not know where the hell these thoughts come from but they are there.

Right now I am in a state of confusion. At 24, I have completed a bachelor's degree program and a juris doctorate program. Shit should come so easy but it has not. I am stuck because its so hard to find a job... I thought once I completed this educational training it would be so easy but it is the complete opposite. Well, if this was ever a time that test my faith its right now but I know I have to stay strong because the Lord has brought me this far and I know there is something in store in the future. Its all about PATIENCE!

I will apologize in advance because I will jump from subject to subject as they run across my mind. It just seems that life is so much easier for everyone else right now. They have lives, jobs, and all of the above... I have ummm neither... Even my social life has been plagued with boredom. Is it me? Maybe, but I don't remember life being this damn dull. Anyway, its hard to be happy for others when it seems that nothing is right but all I can do is focus on the future and how things can go right. I know that through PRAISE you can come through. Thank God for all the blessings he is blessing others with and what HE WILL bless you with. This blog is not going as great as I thought it would I had so much to say before I got here but it seems like my brain has gone blank. It seems like everytime I think positive something slaps me in the face which reminds me why I had the negative attitude in the first place.. Be Patient! I have to keep telling myself that because DAMN if i don't I might drive myself crazy.

I dream of success everyday. Its like I can taste it on the tip of my tongue but everytime I try to swallow it I realize I swallowed the wrong dose of reality. Its like God shows me things but does not show me the path I should take to get where I need to be. I search and search and search but it seems impossible. Maybe I am looking in all the wrong places. I look at the situations I base my situations on and I have to realize that some things seem great but they could be a facade. No one can truly EXPRESS their happiness but its something you see in their eyes and in their attitude.

Enough of this blog for right now. Oh, this is time to FIND ME because I do not know truly who I am yet... Not saying I am confused but I need to find my way... Hopefully this blog will be the beginning.